Thursday, February 17, 2011

Another first and another mindset change

Yesterday I did my first Spinning class or RPM or Cycle (still getting into all the lingo). I have to say this felt like the toughest class I have done out of all the others. Everything from the waist down is burning today - 694 cals smashed and I took it down a notch as my knee has still been hassling me. The trainer/ instructor was really amazing, he had perfect timing - just as I started getting fatigued and wanted to slow down or take it down a notch he was yelling to keep going for so many seconds etc. I surprised myself by keeping going, even though everything in me wanted to get out of there - Somehow it's like I have opened up a door to a new part / section in my mind that I never knew was there. I am going to have to learn about this new place in my head that allows me to override my body when it is screaming for mercy and to stop. I didn't think I had it in me - but I saw a bigger glimpse of it yesterday in that class. I feel like I have busted myself - how weird is that?

My prayer is that in these next 12 weeks this new inner voice will become stronger and that the inner warrior I felt in my combat class on Monday night (surprised myself there too) will become louder and that the body screaming to stop will become softer. I am hoping that one day, I will be able to tell myself to keep going, to push through and to believe in myself so that I don't need a trainer to do it for me. I get nervous butterflies in my tummy at the possibility that I could actually one day be able to do it. It feels like I am on the cliff edge & the brink of something absolutely life changing - but really it's all changing on the inside, like my inner woman is starting to rise up. The inside needs to change first and then the outside will follow. Its scary and exciting at once. 

I am starting to realise that this journey is more about my head than my body. Bit slow - I know - but at least I am getting there.

Today I am doing body balance which is perfect because I am very unbalanced and unco-ordinated - maybe this will help.

Wishing you well my fellow soujourners - we ain't gonna be in this place for long we are moving on!


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